A brother in law is either the man married to your sister, or the brother of your spouse.
Yes, I’ve enjoyed carnal knowledge with a brother in law. Not saying which form of brother in law, since I have both brothers and sisters.
But this blog entry isn’t about him. Or perhaps “them”. Yes, maybe I’ve had hot sweaty, dirty, taboo illicit sex with more than one person fitting the description of brother in law. And okay, maybe at least one such interlude took place during one of the key wedding weekends associated with the establishment of the brother in law, sister in law relationship.
Sometimes my slut sex history makes me blush. Aaahh. So good to be bad, you know?
No, this blog isn’t about brother in law sex.
Because go one step farther — let’s say I was married to a man whose sister is married to a guy.
Oh wait, that would be a brother in law, too.
Okay, I’ve been naughtier than I thought. Never realized that it was possible for me to be naughtier than I thought, because I think pretty nasty.
Okay, so if it is my spouse’s sibling’s spouse, and that person’s sibling, that’s not a brother in law. That’s just the other side of the family. But that person would still be aunt or uncle to someone to whom I’m an aunt. Do we need a chart?
Anyway, I did sneak off from the graduation party to have sex with someone who I see at extended family functions but who is not a relative, so this wasn’t incest. Which doesn’t mean I don’t find it hot when a few of my regulars want me to call them daddy.
Or that one cocky, full of himself futures trader from Wall Street who had a thing for MILFs and called me Aunt Dolly the whole weekend we shacked up when he visited South Florida. Amazing how two folks who probably might not be friends in the “real world” due to viewpoint differences can end up clicking for great sex! If you’re reading this, Auntie misses that tongue of yours…..
So my niece was graduating and getting ready to go to Georgetown and they decided to hold off on the graduation party until just before she went to college and converted it into a send-off celebration. Small private school, not much seating at the ceremony for graduation, didn’t want to pick and choose who got to use the small allotment of tickets, and this way she would actually still have whatever cash gifts she received for college spending money when she went to college instead of spending it over the summer. Actually, kind of a solid plan.
Except for how hot and humid South Florida is in August.
All the mist sprays, fans, and other cooling techniques can’t really win when you are having the function in indoor/outdoor spaces.
So lots of sleeveless, shorts, gauzy, light weight outfits. Lots of skin. Glistening skin. At the end of the summer, when even the northern relatives have been outside and active for a few months and everyone is tanned and looks good.
And there was my nieces’ Uncle on the other side of her family. I’ve seen him at various family events over the years. Had the cojones to order sea bass off the regular restaurant menu at a dinner in a restaurant about a decade ago because none of the five items on the pre-set menu for the group dinner my sister in law planned at a very upscale exclusive restaurant suited his mood. Who does that?
Let’s call him “Rich”, as in spoiled little rich boy.
A little too old to be dressed in such tight fitting, millennial slacks, but good looking enough to still get laid by hot looking women who never showed up at the next event, instead to be replaced by the next hottie.
Always seemed to be a new-ish relationship.
Sometimes Dolly can be remarkably slow on the uptake. Not often, but sometimes. Like I believed Lance Armstrong was the target of jealousy probably longer than many other cycling enthusiasts. Guess I was taken in by the cancer survivor story, wanted something so empowering to be true. Fucking liar. Sorry, I just get upset about being duped. So I was a bit miffed when I put two and two together and suddenly realized Rich’s hotties were not girlfriends in the sense the rest of the family understood girlfriends. They were girlfriends like Dolly can be. Compensated, skilled, people-friendly beauties accomplished at small talk with no specifics.
Rich has been bringing escorts to family events!
I had that moment of competitive jealousy, like, why didn’t he hire me to accompany him, I’m the top ranked….oh, wait, that’s right, I’m already at this event because this really is my family. D’Oh!
So now Rich wasn’t just a snotty, conceited tool. He was kind of a secret bad boy. And I was hoping the girls weren’t all just a cover story to hide that he was gay.
And at the farewell South Florida, here comes Georgetown party, Rich’s date was tall, slender, long blonde hair, great legs, fabulous fitness bunny ass, manicured, pedicured, blue eyed, flat tummied….
Hey, am I Rich’s type?
I cozied up to, oh, lets call her “Goldie”, and she refused to elaborate on saying that she was in marketing, they met through a friend, they haven’t been going out too long, she grew up all over, … if there was a vague response to a question, Goldie was ready.
I was in love, she was so damned good at this. I was making mental notes to upgrade my own best-practices checklist. Wonder if she does doubles with MILFs, because while Rich is 50ish, Goldie was half that. Said she was 30, but I suspected that was to make herself sound almost old enough so that it would not be embarrassing to Rich. But up close, no way was she that old.
Sauvignon Blanc was hers, I kept her glass full, and stayed close and Rich returned when he noticed I wasn’t leaving Goldie alone.
I made extra arm touches, on both of them, and we had fun and got catty remembering embarrassing moments from family functions in the twenty some odd years that Rich and I had been in the same extended family. Goldie’s eye worked me over while she looped her arm through his, and the frown on her face when I’d paw at him and he started returning the gestures as one glass became two became three.
It was time to call it a night. The bigger part of the weekend still to come. “When did parties become full weekend events?”, my older sister asked. “I remember going to my best friend Mitzi Rappaport’s Bat Mitzvah when I went to junior high with her and it was a four hour party, now when my kids have gone to those things they are all weekend like a wedding, and now this graduation party is two days, too?”
Me? I liked that the indulgences gave me a night to survey the landscape, plant some seeds for thought, and then come back the next day to capture my prey and seduce my intended bedmate. I also chuckled to myself at the mention of Mitzi Rappaport, because I was at Mitzi’s first wedding just eight years after that bat mitzvah. Mitzi’s groom had knocked her up and it was all supposed to be hush hush and she wasn’t quite showing yet at three plus months in. The whole thing was thrown together in a month using the excuse “so in love, when its right you know its right and you don’t want to wait!” The night before when the bachelorettes got back to the hotel and the groomsmen returned from the strip club I scored my first night-before groom, Mitzi’s baby-daddy and soon to be husband, on a beach blanket on South Beach in a cabana. Thank God we found condoms in the sundry shop, that boy was potent and he and Mitzi had four children by the time they divorced after six years because he was fucking… hello! My sister! She and I got so much closer after that scandal…
So the evening was breaking up, and Rich and Goldie were lingering in the lobby, and I suggested we bring the last bottle of Sauvignon Blanc up to my room and they could join me.
We were all sweaty, clothes sticking to us, it was late, and the humidity rolled into an overnight thunderstorm. Which meant we were inside, in the air conditioning, so every nipple was visible in the sweaty clothing now clinging to our bodies, and there was a great lightning show.
So I shut the lights, filled the glasses and we all watched the skies, and I had music on, and asked Goldie if I could borrow Rich for a slow dance, and I danced really close and intimately with him, I went up on my toes and pecked him on the lips. ‘I’ve wanted to do that for about twenty years, “uncle Rich” I giggled. He blushed.
I glanced at Goldie. She smiled, “you two look hot together, you know I trust you, Rich.”
Okay, no new, younger girlfriend of a guy with that much money is secure enough to have that response unless she herself is a hired professional and there are no emotional ties. I know because I’ve been used as “bait” to attract other good looking women on Dolly dates.
So I brought Rich’s face to mine and this kiss was a full tongued delight, and we started grinding against each other, I felt my body respond, and his as well.
When it was done I took a couple steps over to Goldie, took her by the hand, brought her to Rich. “Now you two”
Fun. Nice. And not as hot as my kiss had been.
I dragged my fingers down her back which was open in her light and sexy dress, and asked, “how is she, Rich, is she better than me?”
Goldie’s head spun, her eyes narrowed, her competitive juices flowed, and probably some other juices were flowing as well, because she turned back to Rich and gave him a tonsillectomy with her tongue, and I stayed just behind Goldie, my hands on her shoulders and my pussy pressed to her tight ass.
“That’s it, Goldie, get him ready, he’s so close….” and my lips touched her neck, “we can share him…”
And she broke the kiss and spun and our tongues dueled in and out of our mouths and honestly, the mix of competition, anger, sex, hunger, lust and desire for victory made it one of my hottest kisses, and she felt my tits and I pulled her ass close and I moved my lips to her neck and she gasped and groaned and I shot a glance over to Rich and he was almost totally naked already and his dick was hard, average sized, and shaven.
Goldie bit my lip, then sucked it as her fingers went down from my tits to my pussy, up under my short skirt and she nudge the soaked fabric to the side and found my molten sexual wetness just right as her fingers slid in.
“Her first, Rich, fuck Dolly first but don’t cum, I want to taste her from your cock before you finish in this sexy MILF’s mouth….”
Other than the slight breach of etiquette at the thought that she’d be tasting my pussy from his bare cock, she got over her frown when I wrapped him and broke my kiss with her as we were all nude in the king sized bed “Sorry, have to be safe, but you can lick my flavor off his condom, its un-lubed so all you will taste is me….”
Rich had both of us, licked both of us, and Goldie and I sixty-nined which was so hot when he stepped up around my face, and I reluctantly removed my mouth from her sexy young shaved slutty pussy, and told Rich to “fuck my mouth good, Uncle Ricky” but he bent over, kissed me, and said, “you just keep your hot mouth ready, I’m going to fuck your cousin Goldie here, Dolly, and you can lick me on my way in and out of that sweet snatch you’ve made all wet and ready for me.”
Okay, the family role names were all over the place, this was so dirty, the clock caught my eye and it was three a.m. and we’d been sexually involved about ninety minutes since getting upstairs. Wow, Hot August Night indeed.
And it turns out I was wrong.
Goldie wasn’t paid. Hate when my instincts are just mistaken, even though the signs were all supportive of my hypothesis.
“I said something about “I’ve got a condom” and Goldie said, “Rich and I stopped using them when we started dating, he and I took blood tests because he’d been such a man whore in the past, and you’re the first other person we’ve been within six months, and I’m on the pill, Dolly, it’s all good.”
So I was the one licking Goldie’s sweet young pussy from Rich’s hard cock as it went in and out, and my tongue on her clit, and her mouth making me writhe and spasm and tense up and darn near pass out. When I rested they made love intimately, missionary, next to me as I gazed in wonderment, so sexy to be right next to them, and then without breaking her kiss, her ankles still locked behind his pumping ass, she reached over with one hand and took mine, our fingers clasped, and we squeezed hands as he came inside her. My first creampie I’d eaten in a while.
‘Too bad for safe sex, Dolly, I wish I could return this favor and lick Rich’s cum out of your MILFy sexy cunt,” Goldie said. Rich’s fingers were strumming a tune on my clitty as I was on my hands and knees. We all passed out and then at sunrise, the blinds still open from watching the lightning the night before, Goldie awakened first and kissed me, stale alcohol, cum and pussy all mixing in both our mouths. She next suckled my nipples and whispered into my ear, “He told me I’d love meeting you, that he’d always had a crush on you and was so psyched when you got divorced because he hoped he could someday have sex with you and we’d teased about him sharing me since about our third date when we watched porn, so this was awesome. I know you and he aren’t really related, but can I call you ‘aunt Dolly” sometimes, last night was like half of my sick fucked up sex bucket list items all checked off in one night.”
I’m out of breath just remembering and typing.
I’ll have to save the second and final night of the send-off party for another blog. Except for the next little detail I just need to share.
Rich has let me know he and Goldie are still dating, and I’ll be seeing them both at an upcoming anniversary party. First time Rich ever brought the same date to two family functions. She’s a keeper, for sure, which is what I told Rich right after I shared his cum with her in a kiss after he came in my mouth just after he pulled out of her well fucked pussy. She licked my lips clean and whispered to me, loud enough for Rich to hear, “maybe you and I can play sometime without Rich, you’re so hot.”
“Oh Uncle Richie, Goldie is a keeper!” I cried out.
THE END
Purely fictional fantasy for your reading pleasure!