St. Patrick’s Day is not generally regarded as a sexy holiday, it is a drinking holiday. With corned beef, cabbage, and at inventive delis and bakeries, green bagels. I’ve seen the green bagels, but never eaten one. My father brought some home once when I was in high school and St. Patrick’s day fell on a day off from school. Or was it a weekend? Or was I just skipping school to do some underage mischief with Irish friends? I can’t quite remember which year it was…*winks to all of you trying to figure out my age. And by the way, one wise Dolly date told me, “look, you’re fuckin’ hot, so really, the closer you are to my age (he described himself as middle aged, so long as it was the middle age of someone expected to live to one hundred and twenty…) the sexier you are, because maybe with good genes, eating right and working out, a twenty-something might look like you, Dolly, but fuck, when your kids hit high school they are all going to be embarrassed when you visit school and all the boys want to fuck you, and all the men teachers, and a bunch of the girls and the female teachers, too….”
So getting on with St. Patrick’s Day, I was thinking about a particularly raunchy romp I had with a filthy minded (and I mean that in the form of a very high compliment) red-haired Irish Dolly date. The name of the place was Fado, you can look it up, they have them in several cities, but really, why does Chicago need one, plenty of authentic Irish in that town, though what a welcome oasis I found the Abu Dhabi location to be one. But this particular Irish Dolly date was in the United States.
I wore a variation of a dirty Catholic school girl outfit, heavy on the green in the plaid of the skirt, the knee socks, the ribbons in my hair, my nails, and found some sexy Kelly green bra and panties and let’s just say I was the focus of many eyeballs in the pub. No, I did not have sex in the pub itself. I’m only able to make this next admission because I was dared into it by my Dolly Date, who had a cheating slut fetish (both his wives had cheated on him, which I totally didn’t get because he was a decent looking guy and a fun fuck, too, but he swore he’d been cheated on and found the who idea “hot”. Okay, so I wore rings from a prior marriage and played the part of his “wife” since he wasn’t a regular at this pub, and I flirted with a hunky cop with a thick mustache, and when the pub was so crowded that we were all packed like sardines I cupped Office mustache’s package, raked the underside with my nails and went up on tip-toes to tell him that I wanted to be a dirty slut wife and suck his cock to make my drunken husband jealous. Sure, he said.
Would love to tell you I ended up mounting him, because he really was a nice hunk, but he said he only had a couple minutes because he was there on account of there were always drunken bar fights on St. Patty’s Day. So there I was, on my knees in a unisex bathroom, fumbling around with his dick while he refused to take off his service sidearm/utility belt/whatever they call that belt that holds cuffs, his pistol, pepper spray, who knows what else, and generally made him look kind of like Batman. And then the cop wouldn’t even kiss me after I took his load into my mouth. The nerve!
Last thought on the utility belt — of all the actors to play Batman, I’d most love to be taken sexually, romantically, and every which way he’d like by George Clooney, even though his Batman movie was maybe(definitely?) the worse one ever.
So all this is a set up not to tell you any more about the sexual specifics of my cuckold fetish Irish date who took me to Fado, but instead it got me thinking about some of the dirty, slutty talk things he wanted me to say during our date, and how hot it is to say those things when its turning a guy on. And the other dirty things I’ve said on other dirty dates, sometimes in character, sometimes as part of a role play, and sometimes simply because I’m in the moment and that’s how I’m feeling and the sexual animal in my heart, mind and loins takes control of my voice. If dirty talk isn’t your thing, no worries just find another story in my blog, but here, for your stroking pleasure until I return to your city and you make me yours, are things Dolly has said to enhance the pleasure of the flesh with verbal accessories:
“Okay babe, you can have any hole you want”
“Lay back and shut up! I’m going to make you cum until you can’t breathe”
“I want to feel your lips on mine…and the ones I use to speak with, too”
“Look me in the eyes; I’m gonna suck that cock of yours so good, but I want you to beg me for it”
“I want to ride your hard, fat cock so it fills my tight pussy until you make me scream, baby!”
“You’re way overdressed for this party; let me take that hard dick in my mouth and suck you until you cum so hard”
“You know you want to, go ahead, shoot your hot cum all over my tits”
“Take it slow, baby, your thick hard fat cock is stretching my tight wet pussy”
“Take it slow, baby, your thick hard fat cock is stretching my tight ass like I never knew anyone could”
“Oh fuck, I love your tongue; Can I bring your tongue home with me after our date?”
“I love how I taste when you kiss me after you do that. But now I need to taste you.”
“Take me now. However you want to.”
“Nooooo! Don’t wipe that off, I want to lick your cum from my tummy with my fingers”
“You like when I spread my legs and guide you into me, lover?”
“Let it fucking ring, don’t stop, you’re about to make me cum again”
“What do you want to do to me?”
“Pound me, I promise you won’t break me, but it will feel so good if you try”
“I want to gag on your cock and have you fill my throat with your cum”
“Oh God I wish I could feel your cum slide out of my pussy after we fuck…let’s pretend anyway”
“Damn, why haven’t you cum yet? Okay my pussy is all fucked out, stand up in front of me and fuck my face for a while”
“I love the look in your eyes when I make you cum deep inside me” (Note–yes, it was covered!)
“Go undress and wait for me in the bedroom’
“God yes, work it, take it, make me your fuck doll”
“I know what you want. But you have to whisper it to me while I doing this to you, and you can’t cum before I hear the word please after you ask me for it”
“Stick it in, plleeeasse”
“Mmmm, yeah pull my hair, so good.”
“If I lick it, it’s mine and I can do anything I want with it”
“Spread my legs and fuck me hard on your wife’s bed”
“Use me like your dirty little girl”
‘Use me like your good little girl”
“No one can know, after all I’m your teacher and you’re my student”
“But you’re dating my daughter”
“Think you can handle this?”
“Keep going, make me cum on your cock”
“Oh my God, how can your wife resist this? I’d be fucking you 24/7 if you were mine”
“Tell me all the dirty things you think about when you masturbate, you naughty boy”
“Tonight it’s whatever you want to do to me. I’m all yours. All of me.”
“Oh God, fuck me harder, don’t stop, give me that cock, you’re so good”
“God I’ve wanted to feel you inside me all day”
“I’m going to work you like you’ve never been worked. Now start by fucking me from behind”
“I love it when you pin me like this, like I’m your prisoner and you’re fucking me against my will but making me love it, you feel so good when you’re deep inside me”
“I want to taste it”
“Where do you want to cum? Ooooh, a porn star finish, huh?”
“I love the sounds we make when you fuck me. Hear it?”
“Oh my God, you’re wrecking me! Don’t stop, keep stretching me”
“You’re getting hard thinking about licking me, aren’t you?”
“I’m your slave for the night”
“Were you a lesbian in your previous life?”
“You obviously know your way around a pussy”
“I love putting my hands on your strong shoulders and digging my nails into your skin while I ride your cock”
“You always get me so fucking wet. You need to see me more often!”
“Slow down, Tiger, I need a break”
“God damn right I love how your fucking cock feels inside me, keep going”
“Just fuck my brains out all night and don’t ask me any questions”
“Get a little wet there, did ya? Sorry, should have warned you”
“I get so wet when you moan in my ear and squeeze me while you pound me with your hard cock in lazy dog”
“Fuck me like your little slut”
“Take charge when you fuck me, it’s so sexy, fuck me hard”
Okay, whew, I’m embarrassed at how long that took to type. I had to stop a few times along the way. My body is covered in a fine sheen of sweat and the insides of my tanned, toned thighs are still trembling from the orgasms I had while writing this. And my personal trainer, who I called to get his hard ass and harder dick over here after I made myself cum twice and decided I needed a real cock is just stupidly smiling and breathing heavily, I hope he recovers quickly, he said he had a class to teach later.
Use Uber, or Lyft, or go to a bar within walking distance, or take a cab, but whatever you do, don’t drink and drive. Stay safe, Happy St. Paddy’s day, and let me know if you want me to purr anything into your ear when you’re inside me, isn’t sex so much better when all the senses are involved, including sound…
THE END
Purely fictional fantasy for your reading pleasure!